Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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