My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
