I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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