are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
