haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
