He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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