Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He shit in the fireplace
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
