first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
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For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
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This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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