he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he puts the penis in happiness.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
