I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
