it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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