I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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