one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
there is puke in my bra ... again
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize