yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
