We're facebook friends in real life
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
as a side note pls kill me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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