I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
