its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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