Non-Jews are for practice
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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