Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
