he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize