saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
