Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
