so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
