Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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