I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
