White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
