just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
