That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
this will be a night to untag.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
