i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
