I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
