PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize