I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
my nose is crying tears of wow.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
