we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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