I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
