fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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