Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
