we have officially lost it.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
nutella sex= disaster
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
