laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
No more Irish car bombs ever.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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