if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I smell stomach acid.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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