Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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