didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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