Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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