You can't motorboat a personality
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
