i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
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Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
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So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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