so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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