There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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