Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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