I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
