Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
