i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Swine flu is the new snow day.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
