she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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