Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
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The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
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But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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