The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
