Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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