I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
