i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
