i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I need help removing her.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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