when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
