I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
