glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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