She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
