whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
