i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
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He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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