i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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