I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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