guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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