and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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