guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
