Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
